A lot of women always feel cheated by marriage or a union. To them the men get all the adventures, get to live their lives, fulfill their dreams and they get nothing.
The frustration boils down to – the woman is tired of being bored sexually and emotionally.
The problem stems from the culture that women are to nurture their family and be there for them while the man gets to have fun with friends and be adventurous.
Time changed and women know they too have a life outside a marriage or union, but since culture doesn't support it, the woman feels guilty wanting to explore and instead of battling the guilt away she blames her partner for an unfulfilling life.
A married man can sit with his friends – discuss sex, how sexy another woman is and be free to say how he doesn't mind having sex with another woman and he will not be judged.
If there is equality a woman should be able to say that among her friends, but if she does her friends will call her a slut, but the man's friends will either agree with his desire or laugh with him, no judging.
This restriction on a woman’s mind to explore and voice out, make her sexually bored, she wants sex and likes it, but is bored with the sex she can have and takes the frustration out on her partner, as he is the only penis she's got and allowed to desire without feeling guilty.
The solution should be, a man allowing his partner to open up, but how will a man feel when his partner says, “I feel like having sex with another guy. Is not that I don’t love you, I just want something new.”
Men think of themselves whether they like to admit it or not as the sexual gift God gave women and will be annoyed and depressed that his partner has sexual desires outside him.
This is easy to fix in a new marriage when the sparks are flying as both couples can allow openness. In a marriage over two years, there will be a problem.
How does the man stop himself from hating his partner’s desires?
How does the woman stop hating herself for her desires?
Men should accept that, women love sex and crave multiple possible partners like them. They like porn and other digital sexual outlets the world brings, but feel too guilty to admit to themselves and to you.
First, if a man accepts this and tries to bring it up with his partner, she will turn it around on him and say, "Oh! So you want to have sex with other people that's why you're saying this?" recall she is frustrated and sees the man is the problem.
Second, stop trying to fix the problem. Let her be.
Third, find out what makes her desire sex.
This is not the same as what turns her on that won't work now because she knows the option to being aroused is you, and you are presently a turnoff.
What you want to know is what makes her desire sex and boost her sexual ego to believe she is a gift to any man who gets to have sex with her.
What pumps her sexual ego?
If a woman feels fat or ugly, her sexual ego is low. At that point only a stranger's comment matters not yours, to her your compliments are because you want sex. That's how a good wife cheats, a stranger boost her already low sexual ego and she is open to sex with him.
When it comes to sex, women are narcissistic. She only wants sex when her sexual ego is high. Men are different, they want sex all the time.
The man has to find out what appeals to his partner’s narcissistic nature to sex.
This third part is the issue. Since culture will not allow her to be open about her cravings for porn, sexting with strangers or other kinky things that boost her sexual ego. The man has an uphill to climb.
I will advise get your partner to a point where she is relaxed, smiling and comfortable, get her in the topic. Get her to tell you her views on the topic and see if you can get her to share what boost her sexual ego.
Try to find out what makes her feel like a sex god a sexual gift to men. When you know it, you can fulfill her sexual cravings or allow her fulfill it if she doesn't need a third party (i.e. you).
If you're a woman reading this, sexual longings don't make you a slut it is normal, and I will advise if your man wants to know, tell him.
Emotional boredom happens to both men and women. The moment you think your partner is the way out of loneliness and depression, get ready for disappointment. What a burden to place on another, and no man or woman can carry that load.
Start to do things for you, don't blame the spouse or children for not feeling fulfilled. You are not fulfilled because you tied fulfillment to others, giving them a load too heavy for both your spouse and children to carry. Stop lying to yourself that, "they didn't let you try things, or they took all your time." You are not fulfilled because you refused to try things or make out time for yourself. Stop blaming others for the things you allowed to happen to you.
Take charge of your life and seek fulfillment outside the home.
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